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It’s a lot easier to meet President Yoweri Museveni than to see Lady Damalie Kisosonkole. The former Nabagereka of Buganda and wife of Kabaka Edward Mutesa II is a recluse.
Since the death of her husband in 1969, Lady Damalie has been living a quiet life, shunning the limelight and keeping pretty much to herself. No one is allowed to see her, save for family and close family friends as well as her personal doctors.
In the absence of Kabaka Ronald Mutebi’s mother, the late Sarah Kisosonkole (younger sister to Damalie), you would expected that she would play a more public role in the kingdom, now that the Kabakaship is restored.
However, both the Mengo establishment and the royals jealously guard details of her whereabouts. Press inquiries are normally greeted with hostility and suspicion.
“What do you want from her? Why don’t you live the poor woman alone?” are some of the responses I got when I set out to find her.
We had heard that her home was in Mengo but we weren’t sure.
Moving from house to house, we made inquiries but no one seemed to know where to find her or what she looked like. Some of the Mengo residents were even surprised that she is still living and moreover in their neighbourhood.
It was easy to see why we had failed to spot the house. It’s completely hidden from view by tall-canopied trees and tall thick hedges. A small winding gravel path leads up from the main road to the simple three-bedroomed tiled bungalow.
Salome, a plump and pretty middle-aged woman, ushered us into the living room. No sooner had we sat down than she began to grill us mercilessly, about our names, our family background, and what we were doing there.
The interrogation is normally reserved for unfamiliar visitors like us, to shield Lady Damalie from unwanted visitors, we were told.
My guide and I were saved from being thrown out of the house on the sheer strength of our surnames, as both belong to two of Buganda’s prominent families — the Kitakas and the Kulubyas. Kitaka’s family has served Buganda’s kings for generations as chiefs.
On my part, I did not make any efforts to correct Salome, when she naturally assumed I belonged to the famous Kulubya family (yes, the one of former mayoral candidate John Senseko Kulubya).
All this information was relayed back and forth to Lady Damalie, through her nurse, and principal caretaker Betty.
Satisfied that we were not just silly idlers, Betty took us through a narrow corridor and opened the door to a large, spacious room.
In the centre was a wooden four by four bed, with a large mattress draped in pink sheets. Four white painted metallic posters protruded from the sides to form a canopy overhead on which loosely hang a white mosquito net.
And there on the bed was Lady Damalie Kisosonkole, clad in a faded floral nightgown. She was lying on her left side, propped up by three large pillows.
Physically, her appearance and mannerisms are unchanged. They are as regal and imposing as when she became the Nabagereka after she married Kabaka Edward Mutesa II in 1948. But her voice is a notch louder, and is a deep rich alto more suited to a man than a woman.
Instead of being a turn-off, her voice just underlines her royal upbringing and heritage. She is of average height, perhaps 5ft 5in, and rather overweight (possibly weighing over 90kg).
And though she has aged considerably, she remains attractive especially when she smiles. Her skin is still smooth and is of a chocolate brown complexion. She has crystal-like round eyes and big cheeks. The most telling feature of her old age is her hair, which is a clear silver grey.
Lady Damalie’s appearance is both shocking and awe-inspiring, because there have been a lot of rumours over the years, that she is gravely ill and suffering from mental illness. While the rumours are not entirely unfounded, truth is, the entire left side of her body has been paralysed for many years now. Consequently, she is confined to her bed most of the time.
There is, however, a wheelchair in one corner of the room. On some days her caregivers, Betty, Salome and Rhoda often wheel her outside to get some fresh air and some exercise. The trio also tends to her needs and ensures she is clean and comfortable.
In addition, they see to the daily chores, cook, clean and also receive her visitors. Because she spends most of the time indoors, a lot of effort has been put into making her bedroom cosy and functional. There are two sofas in the room — a two-seater and a three-seater — to seat visitors.
Directly opposite her bed is a large, low coffee table crammed with framed family photographs and cards from family and friends. There is a lovely picture of Princess Sarah Katrina Ssangalyambogo when she was still a baby.
Near this table, are two old television sets, built into wooden stands. About eight giant flasks of various colours (we didn’t stay longer enough to find out what they are used for) are clustered at the foot of her bed, next to two tins of her favourite brand of Shortcake biscuits.
A few years ago, it was reported in the press that her house was in a sorry state and that the roof was leaking. It’s around the same time that the rumours of her ill health began to circulate.
Sources say the house was refurbished prior to Kabaka Mutebi’s wedding to Lady Sylvia Nagginda and today, it spots a clean coat of paint, new maroon floral curtains and a new sofa set in the living room. The rest of the house, however, is sparsely furnished, save for Lady Damalie’s bedroom.
The dining room is evidently hardly ever used, as there is just the table and no chairs. The kitchen, too, looks bare apart from a hotplate, a sink and a small cupboard. The cooking is done in another smaller kitchen, adjacent to the house. But the house is spotlessly clean and the compound looks well tended.
Lady Damalie gives the impression of a sharp and perceptively intelligent woman who is still in possession of all her faculties — well, at least mentally.
AS soon as we walked into the room, she turned and gave us a long searching look. You could almost sense that she was trying to recall whether she had seen any of us before.
Immediately after exchanging pleasantries, she started asking about our families, our academic background and whether Kitaka and I were a couple. Though we stuck to the same tale we had fed Betty and Salome, we could tell she was not entirely convinced of my family heritage and she quickly noted that I did not look like any of the Kulubyas she knew.
“Gwe ani akuzaala, nga ndaba tobafanana,” (“You, who are your parents. You don’t look like them. ”) she asked gazing directly at me for two full uncomfortable minutes.
Betty had asked us to keep the visit short, explaining that Lady Damalie tires quickly if visitors stay too long. Since we had not let on that we were journalists, we decided to ask as many questions as we could.
Ten minutes later, she started growing noticeably restless, and it became obvious that we had overstayed our welcome. She then politely asked us to leave, but softened the blow by inviting us to visit another day preferably mid-morning to early afternoon.
On our way out, Salome, however, asked us to call first before we show up. She said this is simply to give them enough time to get Lady Damalie ready. A family friend later told us it is aimed at keeping away unwanted guests and to avoid clashing with important visitors such as the Kabaka and members of the royal family who occasionally drop in to visit Lady Damalie.
The visitors’ book is particularly telling as it shows that Lady Damalie is neither isolated nor abandoned as the rumours have suggested over the years.
A number of people visit frequently. Though majority are family, there are a few close friends too like Rhoda Kalema, Eve and Sarah Mulira and the Rev. Dr. Muyingo. Their names appear almost on every page of the visitors’ book.
One notable entry especially stands out.
On Boxing Day of 2002, the Kabaka’s children Prince Jjunju Kiweewa and princesses; Victoria Nkinzi, Joan Nassolo and baby Sarah Katrina Ssangalyambogo, paid a visit to Lady Damalie.
They all signed the book although one of them must have signed on behalf of Princess Ssangalyambogo, as she was still only a baby then. The royal party also wrote down their address (P. O. Box 58, Kireka) and jotted down a few comments. They said they were happy to see Lady Damalie and wished her many blessings, good health and a happy new year.
It is not clear whether their father, Kabaka Ronald Muwenda Mutebi and the Nabagereka, Sylvia Nagginda accompanied them as there are no signatures to show for their visit. But a neighbour says on one or two occasions, he has seen the Kabaka’s car going up the driveway up to the house, usually late at the night.
Another family friend revealed that the Kabaka has also been personally contributing to Lady Damalie’s upkeep and foots some of her medical bills although it was not easy to establish how much.
It definitely corrects the impression created by the rumours, alleging that the royal family and the Mengo establishment have neglected the former Nabagereka, although it’s easy to see why such rumours would arise.
Since her wedding to Kabaka Mutesa II, Lady Damalie has had a chequered history with the Mengo establishment. To understand that history, you need to go back in time to the early 1940s before she got married to Kabaka Mutesa II.
In his book, Desecration of my Kingdom, Mutesa says the two had first known each other at King’s College Budo, where they were both schooling, long before they got married. Damalie’s younger sister Sarah was also at Budo at the time.
It is said the young prince had fallen head over heels in love with Sarah and the two reportedly got engaged soon after. The tale, however, goes that the two broke it off after ‘a misunderstanding’ and in a fit of spiteful revenge, the Kabaka decided to marry Damalie.
Once he had made up his mind, there was no turning back and the Kabaka personally announced the impending nuptials to the Lukiiko who received the news with much joy. But it is a decision, which the Kabaka lived to regret to his last breath, and he reportedly made no pretense about it.
To prepare for her role as Nabagereka, Damalie flew to England for a special course at Sherbone, where she was groomed in etiquette and conduct befitting a queen. The Kabaka was completing his studies at Cambridge University at the time and the two would occasionally meet.
On Saturday November 19, 1948, the Bishop of Namirembe Diocese, Bishop Stuart, joined the couple in holy matrimony at Namirembe Cathedral amidst pomp and splendour. Thousands lined the route to the cathedral as well as the path leading to the Mengo palace to catch a glimpse of the newly weds.
The bride wore a white gown with a long train specially ordered from Debenham and Freebody in England.
The gown cost 110 pounds, a fortune those days. Six bridesmaids attended to the bride, with younger sister Sarah as the chief’s bridesmaid.
And while the wedding day had all the trappings of a modern fairy tale, there are a couple of incidents that suggested all might not end happily ever after for the royal couple.
One of them was a car tyre that mysteriously exploded during the service at Namirembe.
The other was Sarah. Mutesa writes that the wedding, which should have been hers, visibly distressed her although she tried to mask her pain.
“There is a photograph of her looking at the ground, hiding whatever emotion she may have felt. She did not witness the signing of the register,” he writes.
Her misery, however, did not last long.
His heart was with her and soon after there was little to bind the married couple. The marriage hit the rocks leading the Kabaka to re-ignite his affair with his former flame, Sarah.
It was not long before the Kabaka installed Sarah as his wife (Kabejja) and mother of his son and eventual successor Prince Ronald Muwenda Mutebi II.
The stand-off between Lady Damalie and the Kabaka was an open secret and efforts were made by Bishop Stuart to counsel the couple, but without success.
Damalie kept a dignified silence, although she continued to attend formal functions with the Kabaka.
When Obote eventually toppled the Kabaka’s government, and he was forced into exile in England, Damalie visited him just briefly and later returned to the palace where she continued to live a solitary life.
Sarah on the other hand, remained in Britain to keep the king ‘company’.
It is said, Damalie’s dignified conduct inspired many women who were gradually beginning to find their feet in politics at a time when the women’s emancipation movement was just gaining momentum.
Family sources say, there was intense rivalry between the two sisters and they never quite got along when the Kabaka was still alive.
Damalie, especially never forgave the Kabaka for choosing Sarah’s son, Mutebi, over hers to succeed him as heir.
Had any of her sons ascended the throne, she would automatically have become the Namasole or Queen Mother, a traditionally powerful and influential position in Buganda.
By divine intervention, Damalie’s greatest rival and co-wife, Sarah, never lived to see her son Mutebi enthroned in 1993. Sarah died in the 1970s. It is said the two reconciled shortly after Mutesa’s death.
Perhaps in their grief, they realised that theirs was a relationship bound by strong bloodlines passed down from generations, and much more precious than a marriage to a king.
Perhaps, that’s why the Kabaka, continues to occasionally drive up to the house on the hilltop, late in the night, to visit this remarkable woman who doubles as both his step-mother and aunt.
Published on: Sunday, 6th February, 2005
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