Inanimate fears

Nothing is normal anymore, everything is strange. rare. I am writing this column about the contrast with iron wings: on a plane bound for Uganda in the middle of the second wave of the worst pandemic of the 21st century. Nothing is normal anymore and I wonder if I should remove the envelope and set the time. Nothing was normal for a long time.

Uncertainty, unlike the fear that drives you to flee, is a stable fear: it invites you to gather yourself. Uncertainty drowns in future fears, tilts down your spine and gives you the keys to the house to lock yourself in. With yours without moving, safe, immobile.

Badri and Ansu Fati, two children who do not understand the crisis, are asking to pass through a rest from the subconscious

Fighting uncertainty is a daunting task. It involves an ungrateful struggle. Necessarily in motion. The heat of the house, after all, does not reduce suspicion or ask uncomfortable questions. what am I doing here? where I go? Will we be like before? Nothing is normal anymore, everything is strange. And I’m thinking of Barcelona. In recent years, he used to bitterly settle the Champions League losses with Messi in the team, this season, and for the first time, a victory even with him would be an unexpected surprise and joy. Miracle. An unexpected European victory can no longer be excluded from normality. That: With 10 we must take three more heroes. Winning the cup is a nice thing with Messi for so long, and it’s not normal.

Everything is strange now, nothing is normal, and I think of Pedri and Ansu Fati, two kids who don’t understand the institutional crisis. That asks for a comfortable passage from the subconscious. It’s not naturally good, too young, and I’m looking for maybe.

Did the empty wings, without the whistles and crowd screams, help you get rid of the ban so quickly? Do they bargain and register early because the fear of reproach from the Camp Nou is not heavy? Pique said the Bernabéu whistles stimulated him and he played better, so the opposite, calm, might strengthen his more gentle nerves. Coutinho appears liberated not to have to listen to the almost frustrating and frustrating rumors of the parish before a failed pass and that’s why he try again later. And goes out. The pandemic has changed the world and so have some soccer players. And Messi? The Argentine, who has always been the king under pressure, has lost his surgical dexterity since emptying the stands. As if the melancholy of the silent courts had soaked his soul like a pouring rain and his fatal instinct drenched. Once again, his uncertainty and his relentless questions: Will it make a comeback?

Messi will come back, I tell myself that the plane is taking me away from home and I wonder if the virus will allow me to return in a few days. Uncertainty is a stable fear because it paralyzes. What’s more: because it envelops you, confines you, and ties you to inanimate fears.

Very real sometimes.